Teaching Mindfulness Through Our Everyday Actions

When I began working as a teacher, I had big plans and lofty expectations of both my students and myself. But I quickly realized that real learning does not begin with plans. Lasting and meaningful learning is never not top-down but ground-up; it is meeting the student, or child, where they are and giving them the space, time, and support they need to do “the next step”.

But with many students that felt impossible because there was a huge bulldozer blocking many of their “next steps”: their lack of emotional intelligence and attention.

That is when I learned that it is extremely difficult (or impossible) for children to learn and retain academic concepts when big feelings are standing in the way.

Kids cannot fully pay attention without first learning how to pay attention. They can’t learn about history without first, understanding their own history and who they are.

Just like adults, kids need to learn how to connect to their inner worlds, so they can better connect to and make sense of their outer worlds.

I have witnessed so many kids and entire classrooms that couldn’t focus on the outer (learning academic skills) because their inner worlds were out of control or literally, just too full. 

They needed a deep, inner attention that most of our schools and curriculums don’t teach.

When I first started practicing mindfulness, it gave me tools to understand what was underneath many of the unconscious thoughts and behaviors I had grown into. It allowed me to “see” myself and how I could use my strengths to harness and build upon my weaknesses. 

It taught me tools and language to improve my emotional literacy, connect with others, and create meaningful, lasting relationships.

It also gave me the freedom, discipline, and self-confidence to create what I dreamed of and become who I wanted to be.

That’s when I figured out that mindfulness wasn’t just a concept or a skillset; it is a way of being. 

And I could teach important skills, like how to pay attention by taking the time to fully “see” and understand each of my students. I could practice guiding them to direct their attention to their own inner worlds. 

I could teach mindful attention through the tone of my voice and through my own attention to their words and expression.

I could teach my students how to empathize with others by showing them what empathy sounds and feels like. 

And I could teach my students to be grateful by sharing my own gratitude and thankfulness with them each day. 

Mindfulness lives in our everyday actions, our gentle responses, and the little moments that we take time to fully experience.

It offers a lens through which we can “see” ourselves and provides a language for kids and adults to understand each other and share their experiences with each other. 

Teaching your kids mindfulness doesn’t have to be planned. In fact, the most powerful mindfulness teacher for kids is found in the everyday actions and words of a parent, teacher, caregiver or friend.

Kids can learn about and practice mindfulness concepts and skills all they want, but if their caregivers are ever-rushing, anxious, and have a lack of patience, it will be difficult for any child to truly integrate a mindful, present attention in their lives. 

Because more than anything, kids are watching us adults, what we do, and how we respond.  

And mindfulness is found in the everyday actions and words of a parent or adult that chooses to be their best selves. 

It is found in the actions of an empathetic parent, that just listens, without needing to fix or solve something. 

It is found in the unending patience and understanding a parent provides throughout their child’s emotional storm.

It is in the generosity shown to a complete stranger without expecting anything in return.

It is in the pauses we take to slow down, to take a deep breath, and to do one thing fully at a time.

It is giving someone the benefit of the doubt and contemplating the “why” behind someone’s actions or behaviors.

It is being curious about your child, their interests, and what they love. 

It is being thankful for everything you have and expressing it, again and again.

It is doing something with your child for the sake of doing that thing, without focusing on the result or product.  

And it is telling your child what they mean to you.

So the next time you find yourself wondering how to teach your child to be mindful and pay attention, remember that you are your child’s best teacher. Bring your attention to what you want your child to learn and integrate that skill or way of being in yourself.